10 Things I Wish I Would Have Been Told
Motherhood brings on a whole host of new lessons to be learned. Someday you'll look back and laugh even if that "someday" doesn't seem to be anytime near. This is just a tidbit of things I've learned in the last 3 months that I wish someone would have told me.
1) Tuck baby's wee-wee down into the diaper. Though it would seem like this might hurt, it doesn't. I didn't get this one figured out until getting peed on 3 times in 2 days.
2) Breast milk separates in the fridge after a matter of hours. Separating doesn't mean it has gone bad like it would if your cow's milk does. Just shake the bottle and you're good to go. I threw away 2-3 ozs of my liquid gold just to find out later it was still perfectly good. Grrr
3) After the circumcision heals, separate the foreskin and apply Vaseline (petroleum jelly) around the tip. The foreskin can reattach itself and it's not so much fun having to watch the doc separate it again at the 2-week check-up when your hormones are still super-charged.
4) Supplementing with formula doesn't make you a bad mom. Okay, so technically, I had been told this, but I didn't really agree or believe it to be true. I had such high hopes for myself (all-natural labor, no epidural, breast-feeding etc.). When I had to have a c-section, complete with a spinal block, and then my milk wasn't coming in, well, you can just imagine I felt like the biggest failure in the world of motherhood.
Now, I've been able to redefine being a "good" mom. Riley is alive....He's well-fed (with the occasional formula supplement), he's a healthy growing boy, and he's extremely happy. (You should see all of those smiles!!) Period. That's it. I will never tell my son he isn't good enough because he isn't perfect. I will only ask of him that he do his very best. How can I not ask the same of myself? I will do my best that I know how and pray God fills in my gaps. (Okay, now as I step off of my soap-box....)
5) A baby chewing on his fist doesn't always mean he's hungry. If you attend any prenatal classes, they will probably tell you how to recognize if a baby is hungry. (1) "snake-mouth" (sticking tongue out repeatedly) (2) chews on fist (3) Gets crabby. You should try to feed baby before the last stage since crabbiness can cause latching issues in some babies. What I wasn't told was that some babies have an oral fixation and will chew on their fist ALL DAY LONG. This was and still is the case with my own son. I thought, "he's crying and chewing on his fist, he must be hungry." I was trying to feed this kid virtually 16 hours a day! Talk about EXHAUSTION!! On top of that, I was frustrated too because I never knew the next time he would "need to eat" and a meltdown would occur. Seriously, my son was almost 8 weeks old before I found out I needed to put him on a feeding schedule.
I put him on a schedule and soothed him with a pacifier for the rest of the time in between feedings. I suddenly felt empowered because I could better figure out why he was crying. Some days he chews his fist, some days he sucks on his paci, and some days he chews on the monkey heads of his carrier strap covers. Then again, some days he does all of the above!!
6) Put baby on a feeding schedule!!
7) When giving a sponge bath, wash one body part at a time. This is yet another thing we had been told but my husband chose to ignore. Let me emphasize that my husband was the one that chose to ignore this piece of advice. He said it was like taking off a band-aid. All at once was better. He claimed that Riley would cry either way so it only made sense to bath him fast and get it over with. He, however, was wrong. Yes, it was a shorter process, but the wailing my son did during this "fast bath" was so awful, it literally made me physically sick. (One bathtime, I started heaving in the bathroom.) Wrap the baby up in a towel, wash his arm, then cover the arm back up as you dry it. Pick another body part and repeat. He will most likely complain (Riley still did) but it won't be all-out wailing. (P.S. You shouldn't need to bath baby every day, especially in the winter months. Lotion every day if you don't bath him and oil for the face.)
8) Putting baby oil/baby gel in their hair doesn't help with cradle cap. Speaking of bath time .... When you bring baby home, he'll start to slough off his skin and peel. This is something we already knew. "He's just trying to adjust to being out of his water-bath environment," we were told. Riley's head was the last to peel for the obvious reason that he had more hair at birth than both his grand-dads. We tried putting baby gel in his hair since someone had suggested it to us. They had heard it worked. It doesn't! All it did was make his hair greasy and stiff AND his head was still flaky. On top of all that, it took 3 washes to get it completly out of his hair! We bought a soft baby brush and used it to gently scrub his head while washing his hair. Even now at 3 months old, he still has a few flakes here and there. Of course, if you're fortunate enough to have a bald baby, this won't be your concern!! : P
9) Always have a back up. This includes having an extra outfit in the diaper bag, extra daycare arrangments, (they do get sick too) and an extra plan. It's never fun when it's 17 degrees out and your son't diaper leaks and all you have is a long sleeve shirt to take him home in. Warm up the car, Honey!! (Granted, we DID have a receiving blanket to put over his legs along with his lined carrier cover and another blanket. But still!!)
10) It will always get better. Those first days seem so daunting even for the most prepared first-time parents. Going home from the hospital is just about the scariest thing I've experienced so far. It makes sense. At the hospital you have your food brought to you, cable tv, and someone to help with the baby at the push of a button. That's the whole reason they make those beds so dad-blasted uncomfortable....so you'll go home!! I remember sitting in the back seat with my son as we were pulling through the parking lot thinking, "Why don't they send Rosanne home with us?" (Rosanne was my night nurse who was such a gift from God.)
The first few days, you're still on a happy high but eventually the no sleep and freaky dreams when you do sleep catch up to you. I soon realized, however, that though it was tiring, it was better than a few weeks before. I somehow knew that a few weeks later would be better too. Even now, I look back and am so thankful I am past the "getting up every two hours" phase. I was so nervous about transitioning him to his crib that I put it off for two weeks before I actually took the plunge. But now we're doing it and I am constantly surprised at how well he's doing. (Knock on wood!) Now matter, I just have to keep reminding myself that it will get better.
1) Tuck baby's wee-wee down into the diaper. Though it would seem like this might hurt, it doesn't. I didn't get this one figured out until getting peed on 3 times in 2 days.
2) Breast milk separates in the fridge after a matter of hours. Separating doesn't mean it has gone bad like it would if your cow's milk does. Just shake the bottle and you're good to go. I threw away 2-3 ozs of my liquid gold just to find out later it was still perfectly good. Grrr
3) After the circumcision heals, separate the foreskin and apply Vaseline (petroleum jelly) around the tip. The foreskin can reattach itself and it's not so much fun having to watch the doc separate it again at the 2-week check-up when your hormones are still super-charged.
4) Supplementing with formula doesn't make you a bad mom. Okay, so technically, I had been told this, but I didn't really agree or believe it to be true. I had such high hopes for myself (all-natural labor, no epidural, breast-feeding etc.). When I had to have a c-section, complete with a spinal block, and then my milk wasn't coming in, well, you can just imagine I felt like the biggest failure in the world of motherhood.
Now, I've been able to redefine being a "good" mom. Riley is alive....He's well-fed (with the occasional formula supplement), he's a healthy growing boy, and he's extremely happy. (You should see all of those smiles!!) Period. That's it. I will never tell my son he isn't good enough because he isn't perfect. I will only ask of him that he do his very best. How can I not ask the same of myself? I will do my best that I know how and pray God fills in my gaps. (Okay, now as I step off of my soap-box....)
5) A baby chewing on his fist doesn't always mean he's hungry. If you attend any prenatal classes, they will probably tell you how to recognize if a baby is hungry. (1) "snake-mouth" (sticking tongue out repeatedly) (2) chews on fist (3) Gets crabby. You should try to feed baby before the last stage since crabbiness can cause latching issues in some babies. What I wasn't told was that some babies have an oral fixation and will chew on their fist ALL DAY LONG. This was and still is the case with my own son. I thought, "he's crying and chewing on his fist, he must be hungry." I was trying to feed this kid virtually 16 hours a day! Talk about EXHAUSTION!! On top of that, I was frustrated too because I never knew the next time he would "need to eat" and a meltdown would occur. Seriously, my son was almost 8 weeks old before I found out I needed to put him on a feeding schedule.
I put him on a schedule and soothed him with a pacifier for the rest of the time in between feedings. I suddenly felt empowered because I could better figure out why he was crying. Some days he chews his fist, some days he sucks on his paci, and some days he chews on the monkey heads of his carrier strap covers. Then again, some days he does all of the above!!
6) Put baby on a feeding schedule!!
7) When giving a sponge bath, wash one body part at a time. This is yet another thing we had been told but my husband chose to ignore. Let me emphasize that my husband was the one that chose to ignore this piece of advice. He said it was like taking off a band-aid. All at once was better. He claimed that Riley would cry either way so it only made sense to bath him fast and get it over with. He, however, was wrong. Yes, it was a shorter process, but the wailing my son did during this "fast bath" was so awful, it literally made me physically sick. (One bathtime, I started heaving in the bathroom.) Wrap the baby up in a towel, wash his arm, then cover the arm back up as you dry it. Pick another body part and repeat. He will most likely complain (Riley still did) but it won't be all-out wailing. (P.S. You shouldn't need to bath baby every day, especially in the winter months. Lotion every day if you don't bath him and oil for the face.)
8) Putting baby oil/baby gel in their hair doesn't help with cradle cap. Speaking of bath time .... When you bring baby home, he'll start to slough off his skin and peel. This is something we already knew. "He's just trying to adjust to being out of his water-bath environment," we were told. Riley's head was the last to peel for the obvious reason that he had more hair at birth than both his grand-dads. We tried putting baby gel in his hair since someone had suggested it to us. They had heard it worked. It doesn't! All it did was make his hair greasy and stiff AND his head was still flaky. On top of all that, it took 3 washes to get it completly out of his hair! We bought a soft baby brush and used it to gently scrub his head while washing his hair. Even now at 3 months old, he still has a few flakes here and there. Of course, if you're fortunate enough to have a bald baby, this won't be your concern!! : P
9) Always have a back up. This includes having an extra outfit in the diaper bag, extra daycare arrangments, (they do get sick too) and an extra plan. It's never fun when it's 17 degrees out and your son't diaper leaks and all you have is a long sleeve shirt to take him home in. Warm up the car, Honey!! (Granted, we DID have a receiving blanket to put over his legs along with his lined carrier cover and another blanket. But still!!)
10) It will always get better. Those first days seem so daunting even for the most prepared first-time parents. Going home from the hospital is just about the scariest thing I've experienced so far. It makes sense. At the hospital you have your food brought to you, cable tv, and someone to help with the baby at the push of a button. That's the whole reason they make those beds so dad-blasted uncomfortable....so you'll go home!! I remember sitting in the back seat with my son as we were pulling through the parking lot thinking, "Why don't they send Rosanne home with us?" (Rosanne was my night nurse who was such a gift from God.)
The first few days, you're still on a happy high but eventually the no sleep and freaky dreams when you do sleep catch up to you. I soon realized, however, that though it was tiring, it was better than a few weeks before. I somehow knew that a few weeks later would be better too. Even now, I look back and am so thankful I am past the "getting up every two hours" phase. I was so nervous about transitioning him to his crib that I put it off for two weeks before I actually took the plunge. But now we're doing it and I am constantly surprised at how well he's doing. (Knock on wood!) Now matter, I just have to keep reminding myself that it will get better.
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